I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
