I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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