I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
