i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
