remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
