a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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