Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
