you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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