whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
