So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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