every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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