Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
