I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
