was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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