remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
