she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
