That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
