I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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