What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
