two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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