Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you didnt know i had herpes?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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