Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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