Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
