I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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