He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
