Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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