oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
farters have to be the big spoon...
im six kinds of drunk right now
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
