all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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