He disabled his match.com account in front of me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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