dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
