Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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