Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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