Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
