he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
