Do vagina's smell?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
