google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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