don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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