What did we do last night that was yellow?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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