let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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