This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
