Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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