i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
