I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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