i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
