god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
