it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
worst night to have a conscience
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
