I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
