He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
