Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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