Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Two words: nipple clamps
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