Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
MIDGETS
????
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
