he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
