O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
